MEMORIES <#3

♥ Monday, June 08, 2009

Honest Thoughts.

Reply message to MiaoRu:

Firstly, i wanna say my feelings when i was reading through your blog post. I cried when i read through it. The tears just flowed down unexpectedly. Thank you for being so honest and open about your true feelings. I am so very thankful to you for bringing this up. Maybe, i also realised that we are drifting apart recently. In fact, i realised it after we both went to poly. I think it is due to the reason that we couldn't meet up and see each other every single day, just like the old times in secondary school where we can meet up every day once school ends and have lunch together and talk our hearts out.

Despite the fact that we are still in the same school for poly, both our school lesson timings are contradicting, thus making us unable to meet up as frequently as we wished to. Plus the fact that i can't stayed up late outside, and on weekends too, due to my parents' demanding strictness and so-called family policy that weekends are family days. I admitted that i also hate the fact that i could not chat with you on the phone as frequent and as long as i wanted to.

But, unfortunately, thats my life. I understand that you once tried to change it by telling me to stop letting my parents control my life. I also admitted that i did not once thought of changing my life as honestly speaking, i am comfortable with it as i have grown up in this "controlled" life of mine ever since i was born, thus i am used to it. Therefore, i have to apologise to you that for now, i think my life will continue as it has been, until the day when i became really indepedent and leave my family, maybe to set up my own. I know that you really mind it alot but for the time being, i have no brillant solutions for it.

My tiny solution is to continue to ask you out on our term and semester breaks to catch up with our the recent happenings. And, i even once requested to resume our letter writing hobby since the times we stopped to write letters to each other. However, i realised that we still couldn't get back to the days where we can chat about everything or anything that happened in our lives, either about school, family or friends. I feel that we are still holding back something.

What is the thing that we are holding back? I think that i have finally found out the answer to it. The answer is that we are actually unwilling to face the fact that we are difting apart. Now that i see it, i really wanted to solve it no matter what it takes. I am more than willing to do anything so that we can return to the past. So be prepared, im going to ask you out whenever im free! Till then, don't you dare complain that you are sick of seeing me! Hahaha.

Phew, it really feels good to have expressed our honest feelings to each other. I really hoped that you will understand and forgive everything i have ever done to annoy you. You asked if i can forgive you, i can now say that i am ready to forgive you. In return, will you forgive me and promise to try our very best to return to the past when we can talk our hearts out?

♥ YAN Blogged @

10:54 AM