i finally broke down... today, we had airport systems1 project presentation.
we have been practising so hard and for so many times before it. and guess what happened?
i also dont know why and what actually did happened to me.
i was even doing all right in the beginning.
my friends even said my voice was super loud.
i felt like crying...
and my voice went super shaky.
but i didnt really cry out then. it happened thrice throughout the whole presentation. mr gary even paused the timing for me,
and asked me to relax and take a deep breath.
but i just couldnt control myself. im quite touched by the class anyway.
cause after that i found out from Sifan that:
they even cheered me on and said that i can do it.
they even clapped for me to encourage me.
but i didnt realized all those cause i was too distraught. ahhhhh... what actually did happen to me? Sifan also said this to me:
"you already went through individual speechs and presentation
in wrtoral(year1 module) and jap le.
why did you break down in a group presentation suddenly?"
its really weird of me breaking down suddenly just like that... i guessed i scared Sifan and Ningen (my group mates)
with my sudden break down bahs.
they must be stunned.
they said this is the first time they saw me break down. im really sorry girls,
for scaring you all and affecting your feelings at that time.
im really sorry if i really did affected our overall marks.
but you girls did a great job presenting. and im worried about my individual marks too.
im scared that i will fail that presentation.
well that adds on to my another worry. anyway after the presentation, then i cried out.
tears just flowed down uncontrollably. and they just had to choose that time to take a class photo.
so i guess i looked teary and red-eyed and a forced fake smile in that photo bahs. but thank you all for your consoling and encouragement.
i really do not know why... anyway i talked to Miaomiao about it.
and she said that i must find out the real reason for breaking down, and solve it.
if not, the problem will stay on forever. but i really do not know how to find out...
maybe i should talk to my dad about it... but im scared he will reprimand me...
how? should i? 
im tired of everything right now...i wanted to take a break and rest.
but i still have to force myself to complete the projects due soon. anyway, i realized i am worrying about many things. here is a list of my worries:
1) completing projects
2) completing presentations
3) tests
4) studying for 5 content based exams
5) maintaing gpa
6) what will i get for next year's attachment
7) gettinng into ERAU university
8) job scope of future work
i guessed im really stressed up...
i finally broke down... 
im tired of everything right now...
